Dear NFL fans and members of the media,
It has come to our attention that a series of lawsuits has been filed against the New York Jets organization alleging misconduct by the Jets in their handling of complaints by two massage therapists to one Brett Favre in 2008. This situation is very unfortunate and, in the NFL, we take these kinds of allegations seriously. We will use as much care as possible while we meticulously investigate this very serious matter.
While it is not in my character to address issues before they have been officially resolved, the seriousness of the charges warrants some comment. The New York Jets have weathered many storms this year, and done so with the utmost professionalism. Those of you who follow the league closely know that the NFL has already investigated and cleared Brett Favre and the New York Jets of any wrongdoing against one Jenn Sterger. I feel confident that the same principles and process used to find Favre and the Jets innocent will once again exonerate these two oft maligned parties.
I am aware that some of you believe that I am not acting with complete impartiality in my handling of these situations. It is true that I was once an employee of the Jets and that my family retains season tickets. While I may have true Jet spirit, I will not let that interfere in my handling of these skanks that look to besmirch the good names of Brett Favre and the New York Jets. When one looks at the situation dispassionately, one will note that the Favre and the Jets are studs, and studs like to **** hot chicks. So here comes Jenn Sterger, boobs hanging out, looking hot and Favre is supposed to just not send her pictures of his wang? Come on! Then these two therapists, again chicks that look pretty good (not 10 out of 10, but firmly in the doable range), are massaging Brett's loins and all he did was ask for a happy ending. Is that so bad? Don't you have a penis? And the Jets are supposed to come down on him for this? No, it's far better that they fire these sluts and get some girls in there that are into that sort of thing, or will at least shut the hell up and stop causing the Jets so much grief.
In short, I promise you that the league will examine the evidence and make an appropriate ruling.
Thank you for your concern and enjoy the playoffs,
Roger Goodell
NFL Commissioner